Friday, December 23, 2005

Happy Christmas

Well its that time of year where a lot of people celebrate Christmas and New Year. I for one will be spending time with my family over the festive period, mainly consisting of eating a lot and consuming alcohol. Along with actually being able to spend time with the Mrs.

I don't actually spend that much time with the Mrs due to my shift pattern and the fact she works "Normal" hours. Usually i am sleeping while she is here or i will be working or she will be working. So this will make a nice change.

I will be socialising with the family down the pub having a few drinks.

Coming home and relaxing.

That is my Christmas but for many family's their Christmas will be different, there Xmas will consist of drinking to excess throughout the day, having a "row" with someone usually the other half and calling the police to sort it out as we are there to mend broken relationships, calm down drunks and make peace among the chavs on the estates.

Now they will be sadly mistaken luckily i will not be working over xmas this year but the officers that are will be taking quite a harsh stance with the view of "locking them up" if they cause grief over xmas. This is never a better time to have an impact on those that wind us up all year long.

Ever wandered why no warrants get executed in the run up to Christmas?? Well the reason is we do it over the bank holidays keep you in custody until the next available court date ie Wednesday!

All that grief we get over the year attending calls to chav households, getting hit, abused and shouted at. Now its payback time!

You see, the Police generally are a good bunch, we do our jobs and enjoy it. We lock up those that need locking up and give "suitable advice" to those that don't need locking up.

But our charity runs out at the end of the year. Every time you tell us how to do our jobs, call us all sorts of names, throw things at us and generally abuse us, it all gets logged and noted because what goes around comes around. And Christmas is the time of goodwill to all men "and women" and what better time than at the end of the year to level the score and start a fresh in January.

Have a happy Christmas.


Hi all,

Apparently there is this new section of PACE (Police and Criminal Evidence Act) called code G that comes into effect on 1st January 2006. This is a big overhaul of our powers of arrest and will effect every police officer that makes an arrest.

Apparently every offence is arrestable if it passes the necessity test.

You would have thought that such a big change would have meant lots of training for us police officers.

Well you will be surprised to know that our forces training dept were dragging their heels. 3 training sessions were provided to train every officer in my area. The first i was on annual leave (gotta take some time off sometime eh!) the second session that i had to attend was 6 hours after i finished work. I came off nights and finished work at about 1 am and they wanted me back at 7 am to train (No chance) The third session i am on a rest day, now i would attend but i am not going to be paid for it so i will be using a day off to go into work to do the training. Hmmm decisions decisions.

Luckily i have preempted this and the people at training were quite good about it saying "don't come in on your rest day, we'll sort it out in the new year after the changes come into effect" This is good for me as i don't loose a rest day. But what about arresting people???

Another well thought plan by my police force!


Monday, December 05, 2005

Court Room Hilarity

And here are some quotes from the court room of stupid questions we have to put up with from smart arsed solicitors.

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give usan example of something that you'veforgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke upthat morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or theoccult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q:Now doctor isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, hedoesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the barexam?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morningpursuant to a deposition noticewhich I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did youcheck for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began theautopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing lawsomewhere



I have decided that a little light humour is needed in light of recent events and have found some good stuff.

This is from Metpol Crime reports and details some of the notes made by officers showing not only a sense of humour but some apauling spelling and grammar!

A four foot wall surrounded the garden which was approximately 3ft high.

Mr Grey would be able to recognize them from the back only and if they wore the some clothing.

The suspect gained entry by climbing into the victims rear.

Victim would recognised ger handbag again as the shoulder strap is chewn.

Scene closed and cleaned. victim seen in hospital.It would appear an artry or something else was pierced due to the amount of blood lost.

vehicle was blocking the road so they stopped and a cue formed behind them.

The victim only has a home phone number, if there is no answer that means he aint there.

Incident witnessed by suspect as he was there at the time

The window was smashed leaving the glass unbroken.

METHOD: By snatching victims hand.

Police arrive and are met by a non speaking male who could only state, "black man's took bike"

The ex-partner did not the supect there and he was advised to leave by police. The suspect became towards police when asked to leave.

Officers attended the venue and after much searching found both victims sat in the lounge.

What happened was that the victims car was broked into and various bits stolen.

It appears the suspect has kicked open the front door and then climbed through the window.

the victim believes someone is responsible for stealing from her car.

The victim last saw his phone parked outside his house at 2200

At 2358hrs she was arrested and cautioned for loitering for the purpose of prostitution she was cautioned and replied," will it be a quick in and out!"

After investigation it was found to be a straightforward deception. Arrested and conveyed to Mars the facts were conveyed to the custody officer.

It would appear that this incident has stemmed from a dispute about a lollipop.

Victim fearing for his safety ran into the road, where he was hit by an oncoming SOUTHBOUND vehicle.

it would be possible for the gate to be unbolted as it had a bolt on it.

Victim states that the suspect spoke like "frank spencer" and believed he was "simple".

Victims wheelchair was stolen from the front garden. She has only reported it becasue of the need for a crime reference number for getting her new wheels.

Suspect has lobbed a stone at the window busting it to bits.

Victim states he does not have a telephone number, will contact us to let us know what it is.

On his arrival back home that evening the front door was a jar.

asked victim if he could use his phone to call his brother, victim handed over the phone and suspect then fell into a bush

Injury Description: booze on the left side of his fore head - right side is boozed and scratched from being kicked

The suspects were eliminated due to unable to prove that it was them and not this fourth imaginary person.

subject had in his possession a silver pen knife which gave no reply when arrested

FORENSICS: No point as we don't know who did it.

Victim then went upstairs and got suspects 2 mobile phones and hung them out of the window, suspect then went upstairs and hung victim out of the window.

Request that this report is closed due to the victim not wanting to persue with the allegation and has reclined to provide police with a statement.

In view of the believed method of entry, the only realistic security advice I can give is to shut the door.

The officer has handed over £20 in cash in exchange for class A drugs and the accused has decamped.

Accused admitted offence and was remoprsefull.

The suspect was apparently out drinking when the victim called him to bring back a lemon. The suspect arrived home drunk & demanded to know why the victim wanted an onion.

The suspect began to harrass the victim by saying thongs through her letter box and knocking her door.

Sarah finished School at 12pm and went to a friends party she returned home at 18pm.

The suspect had a thing face and smelt badly of Sweat.

On speaking to her she said a balck man pulled a knife out on her boyfriend so he throw a car at him, and they both drove off as they were worried.

Officers went over to the male who appeared to be asleep and attempted to arouse him but he was not responding.

Knife found under drivers seat foot well matt of a vehicle being used for mini crabbing by driver

the suspect had bail condition not to go to the premises or contact himself

Suspect 2 gave a full and frank no comment interview.

Informant states that his vehicle was damaged by suspect sctratching the bonnet and complete nearside with a sharp object.

Victim believes he knows who the suspects may be, at this stage he is reluctant to provide details, untill he is able to obtain further evidence.Victim has now placed a video camera in his bathroom to record any activity.

When arrested he stated " I was not driving, I was only parking it here ".

The travelers were two women and two men with a large group of children. all aged approximately 40.

The shop is located behind the security shutters which are at the front of the shop.

The victim is registered blind from birth and cannot give a very good discription of the suspect other than he was wearing a stripped top and was well spoken.

After arrest the Police searched the kitchen and found a kitchen knife and was taken by police.

Victim states that after the assault, she tried to reset her own nose, causing it to bleed profusely and realised it was a silly thing to do.

Victim was approached from behind by unknown suspects knife held to his trout

The damage is a small one inch near lock forced bit of wooden door.

Mr X was standing outside the location with blood over his face he stated that he had been in the bar area drinking when he had gone to the bar and was approached by two(2) males who were giving it LARGE

The victim has only liited use of English language. English speak very difficult to underhand

suspect removed his arm and was struggling to get his breath.Suspect was wearing a black beret and comfortable black leather shoes.


Wednesday, November 23, 2005


Care of Police Survivors (otherwise known as COPS) is a UK registered charity dedicated to helping the families of police officers, who have lost their lives in the line of duty, rebuild their lives. It aims to ensure that survivors have all the help they need to cope with such a tragedy, and that they remain part of the police family.Care Of Police Survivors (COPS) would like to see every police officer in the UK wearing a COPS lapel pin, in remembrance of a fallen colleague.

Please visit COPS.

36 police officers have died in the line of duty in England, Scotland and Wales in the past 20 years - 11 shot, 10 stabbed and three beaten to death, while 12 were killed by vehicles.

PC Sharon Beshenivsky was the sixth woman out of 1,600 officers to die in Britain since the formation of the modern police service in 1829. The last female officer shot dead was PC Yvonne Fletcher, 25, outside the Libyan embassy in London in 1984. Women make up 21% of the 43 English and Welsh forces.


Police Memorial

Police Roll of Honour Trust

Police Officer Killed

Well as im sure you are all aware by now PC Sharon Beshenivsky was killed whislt attending a call to a personal attack alarm at a travel agents in Bradford. Her crewmate PC Teresa Milburn was shot and injured in the incident.

This is quite an alarming storey which has provoked some debate over the arming of police and the increase of armed incidents in many forces. Only the next day in my area there was an armed robbery where shots were discharged, but luckily no rounds hit any body.

This is on another point frightening as the weapons being used are live and not replica weapons and are loaded with live amunition. Also the seeming willingness for people to use the weapons against police and the public.

Also other weapons are being used, mainly knives and suspects seem to be only to willing to have a go at the police in an attempt to "get away".

What is this country turning to where the poeple who are there to protect you are coming under increasing threat from suspects which in all honesty we are not trained to deal with. Our numbers are so low backup is not always nearby (read upto 20 mins away on immediate), Our ARV's are to low in number and are streched out over the whole force, suspects no longer wait on a scene which is contained to think their way out, they just fight and shoot their way out before extra units can get there as they dont want to face armed police.

So what is the solution.

There are groups who dont want police to be armed because of the risk of innocent people being hurt or killed, they cite fatal shootings by police as the main reason why police shoud not be armed.

There are groups who feel that we should be armed by routine as if the criminals are willing to shoot should we not be able to protect the public and ourselves.

People say if we were to arm then we would become like the USA and armed crime would soar as more criminals would up the anti to compete with us.

I am more in favour of having more avaliable armed officers, not dedicated ARV but your standard PC who is firearms autherised, has acess to weapons and is trained in their use, who has passed the psycological testing, physical testing and firearms testing.

The same would apply to Taser, by giving us more options both lethal and non-lethal we could become more effective, this would instill more public trust as they would know we CAN deal with the more increasing violence, the criminals would know we can deal effectively with the incident and may think twice about carrying weapons, let alone using them.

Also we need proper deterants in the courts, if you carry a weapon then you will be punished properly, if you use a weapon then likewise.

No one wants armed police walking around with machine guns, but discrete arming may be the only way ahead.


Tuesday, November 22, 2005


Hi to anyone who reads this site.

Please leave me some comments so it seems i am not writing this for only me to read.

Positive or negative appreciated as it gets quite lonely over here!.



Anyone who works in policing knows the perils of the CPS. I have stated before how much of a nightmare they can be in trying to get an offender charged.

So i found this over on another blog (thanks to DC)

Short Update

Well, I had one week of nights following my driving course where to be honest not a lot happened apart from one night where I got into a bit of a fight and also went to sort out a rave with the rest of the shift.

My scrap wasn't too bad to be honest but I radioed for Urgent Assistance basically because I had a crew of Specials with me and a lot of unhappy people who were keen for this person not to be arrested. Luckily its was kept relatively controlled until my backup arrived and the group of people made off when they saw all the other crews attending.

Then we had a rave to shut down in the early hours which was not fun as dealing with 200+ drugged up people who were not keen on us shutting down the rave. With about 15 officers. Needless to say we gave them 4 hours to go or we come back mob handed as we needed a lot of officers to deal with this by force, but they did shut up shop and moved off. Ill have to give more details another time.

My main grip is my Assistance shout, one crew cannot be trusted to the extent that you hope its not this officer attending when they are the only backup. Absolutely shocking the fact that this person is allowed to operate the way they do, constantly critical of other officers even to the point to slagging the driving off while actually on a blue light run. At long last its not just me this person keeps on criticizing and they engineer a situation where they think they are untouchable, but 2 can play that game.....

Sorry for the short or cryptic post but i will expand in other posts what i am actually getting at!

Friday, October 21, 2005

3 Weeks and I'm back on shift.

Well my 3 week driving course has been completed. I had what is called a crosscheck on Thursday which is when basically instructors swap cars and assess each others crews.

fortunately for me I passed the first crosscheck with no problems which was a relief. I end the course with a good recommendation that I am suitable for advanced training which is a bonus as I want to do Advanced Driving courses and eventually join RPD (Roads Policing Department).

I got a bit of crap while I was away but nowhere near as much as when I did my stage 6 course which has kind of made my decision for me. I was usually of the opinion that I want to stay on shift for a good few years then go into RPD hopefully, now with everything that's been going on such as moving goalposts I have pretty much decided I'm going to apply as soon as I see a vacancy.

I cant believe that I worked so hard to get my docket down to manageable levels and keep on top of my investigations only to be shit on by AIMT who have changed the rules yet again. Meaning I now need to do a lot of irrelevant stuff to get a job filed. Which pisses me off no end especially with shitty comments "you have breached CPIA by not doing this!!" well I didn't breach it last bloody time did I but now apparently I am.


Well to AIMT I kind of have to say, what goes around comes around policing goes in circles. You may be the big thing now but next year you will be back on shift or doing some other menial back stabbing job which involves never leaving the nick and staring at a computer screen. Why the hell did you join the police?? I don't know anyone who joined the police and said "yeah I want to join the police to sit behind a desk everyday and never go out!!!!"

Roll on a vacancy on RPD in the mean time ill be doing my best to get noticed by them, do as much traffic stuff as possible and try and have as much fun as I can with my new found ability (or permit) to use blues and 2's.

Job gets you down some times but I like proving points just to be able to say "FCUK YOU" I am better than you lot whom sit at a desk criticizing all officers.

Ahhh Rant over!

Roll on Hell week of nights but thats another rant!!!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Blue Lights

Well into my second week of learning to drive response cars. Started off driving a marked car learning the principles and practicing Roadcraft (Which is a book about safe driving).

There is a fair bit to learn and its a different driving style and depending on how you drive and how long you have been driving for can be difficult or easy.

But its a good way of driving which stands us in good stead for driving response.

I have had good fun driving so far even though the majority has been below speed limits as there is alot to practise and get right before we can get to drive response. It has been handy being excempt from national speed limits so if there is a national then there is no limit for us.

Did my first blue light run the other day through quite a busy town which was interesting. Made a few mistakes but none which compramised the safety of the car or anyone else. But its the first time of blue lights really so didnt do too badly, hopefully it will improve and come together over the next few days.

Found out today that when i pass the course i am entitled to become a member of the Institute Of Advanced Motorists (IAM) without taking the tests as my training i am recieveing now is exceeding the level they test at. Which is good as i can get a discount on my car insurance!

Roadcraft From Amazon

Friday, September 23, 2005

Slow nights

So far this week we have had a Q set of nights, We get spells like this every once in a while but tonight its Friday Night and has the makings of a potentially bust shift seeing as the numbers of people out in the evening was relatively low.

We expect a traveller wedding tonight in one of our towns which could be interesting especially if anyone gets in their way whom arnt expecting them. Imagine little johnny out on the beer and decides hes billy big potatoes. Shoots off at the mouth and gets battered because he thinks hes bigger than he is.

Could happen quite easily with the muppets on my area.

Well, only this night shift and 2 late shifts them im done for a while, Off for a week then on a course for 3 weeks or so getting my response driving ticket.

I need a break from shift as its been ages since i have been away, not taken holiday yet because of the downsides of taking leave. If im away then my jobs dont get progressed, if my jobs dont get progressed then i get moaned at by management or more to the point the AIM team who oversee our active investigations. Who seem to think that by remotely looking at our investigations on the computer they know whats best. Not taking into account other jobs that we attend throughout the shift.

Why has this burglary not been completed yet?

Because i am awaiting witness details from the attacked company?

Why have you not chased them?

I wrote to them asking for the details, they have yet to provide them.

This is not acceptable, chase them for the details.

I am on lates and nights how can i chase a company?

Come in early to chase them?

I suggest if they dont give me the details then its not important to them and if they cant be bothered to give me what i need then why should i bother chasing them?

Ahh burocracy, dont you just love it!

Roll on the 3 weeks off, but having said that ill have a loads of crap when i get back.

Why has this job not been progressed?

Because i was in a car from 9 - 5 driving response.

This is not acceptable you were working so should be progressing your enquiries.

Just cant win sometimes!

Thursday, September 15, 2005


I have just noticed how long it has been since i last posted an update. The reason being i have been without broadband and as such too lazy to do it on dial up since moving house, but eventually BT got the soldering iron out and got me some fast(er) internet after 4 months of waiting.

Well since my last update things have pretty much been the same. Except for a nasty new shift pattern - some nasty people and bombs and a few major incidents.

I finally managed to get on top of my paperwork and seem to be doing OK and keeping on top of it but i suspect as i am off on a 3 week course soon it may start to build up again.

Yes another course... but this one will autherise me to drive cars in a response manor ie blues and 2's which i have been waiting for it feels like forever.

These seem to be comming more prevelant over the past few months. We were kind of complacent about actually comming face to face with one as its not common for someone to pull a knife on police. Me and a crewmate were talking about the recent Thames Valley knife murders in Wokingham saying that we wern't really aware of what could happen because we had become complacent. She had not been challenged with a knife or was at close quarters with one and neither had I.

Well that was like saying "its a quiet shift isnt it".

We went to a job where a kid was being a bully to his grandparents, few offences but the grandfolks were really scared of him. We attend and do the paperwork as mateyboy had left.

A short while after we leave mateyboy returns and the grandparents go upstairs and lock themselves in the bedroom and call police.

We reattend and gain entry by climbing fences etc as he didnt want to open the door to us.

We both walk into the kitchen (worst place to make an arrest due to potential weapons) and approach the guy. He goes to grab a knife, we grab him and lob him to the floor following a struggle i get punchd and crewmate gets kicked he gets his head put to the floor and arested. The guy was really strong as he was influenced by drugs we thing.

We although we got the job done it brought a reality home. A young lad actually went for a knife and it was only because of the talk me and my crewmate had that morning that we saw and dealt with the threat otherwise we may not have been aware of the attempt to get the knife and it could have been so very different.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Been a long time

Hi all,
Been away for a long time it seems. Since my last post i have lost my broadband due to a house move so this is one of the first times i have been able to use dial up access to the net.

Things have changed somewhat since i last posted. The shift has been reduced, a new shift pattern has been introduced and i have been fighting to get on a response driving course which according to the training manager "ITS MY PRIORITY TO GET PEOPLE ON COURSES" hmm well in a month we will have all of 2 response drivers for the police area. Nothing like a bit of pressure.

A quick summary of the past 2 months.

Most of June i was off due to a house move and various planned trips so i was only at work for half the month so i didnt really get to do alot and it was a slow month for crime for some reason. We were on occasion driving for 8 hrs and not getting deployed to any jobs.

July so far has gone mad. Last week of nights meant we were attending jobs from when we booked on till when we finished.. We ran 3 police officers per shift manning 2 cars. i Managed to get asaulted effecting an arrest (my skipper took the brunt) and i fell through a building. Made lots of arrests and got alot of detections for the crew. I think since the start of the month my shift has had about 30 detections and 40 odd arrests. To say its been mad is an understatement. Seems like summer and beer has finally arried as alcohol has played a large part in the arrests. As well as the little brats off school hanging around damaging stuff for fun. It seems so far we have been in the right place at the right times.

Will give a better update shortly.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Grrrrr SDU

Why do i always have to become ill when i'm on my long weekend! Glad of the rest though to be honest, im going to have a hectic week or two i think. You know when you just get "that" feeling that everything is going to go wrong!

Thing with the police is, when you are away be it on sick or holiday, nothing changes in the workload. It just stays there getting smellier and older with whinging MOP's leaving voicemails for you. Not that it ever enters their minds that you may actually have a life outside the police and dont work 24hrs a day just for them.

Crime investigation can take some time. Sometimes you are relying on others to provide information to you to be able to progress the case further (if anyone has worked with the met then you will know what i mean when you ask them to do something for you!)

Hopefully ill be tasked with the SDU tomorow (service delivery unit) where you are allocated crimes to deal with. These are the ones that do not require police attendance and can be crimed slow time. Quite why it has to be apolice officer i dont know. There are pleanty of civilians out there who can do the same thing and dont need police powers to do this job.

As it will give me some time to try and progress some of my jobs while trying to not crime the allocated crimes as i could do without the crap in my docket as its taken me ages to get it down to a manageable level.

Half of me likes rushing round dealing with immediates, the other half is quite happy to sit and do my own work. I think that i could do with the time to recover from this cold and progress my cases.

I may be getting half sensible in my old age!

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Back to shift

First 3 shifts since comming back from my 3 week course went quite well really.

All sorts of new procedures had been introduced locally since i left for the 3 weeks. The shift has been split as we need to loose a number of people to make up a new shift, A few of them i get on with really well, others i was not that fussed about but would be sad to see them go. At least its not me thats leaving because i think i do quite well with the sgts and the team we have at my station.

No one seems sure as to when they will be leaving, was rumoured to be June but that may have changed. When they leave a new shift pattern will be introduced which at first glance looks like a nightmare. 11hr early shifts! I hate earlies so that didnt go down well, but at least we now get 2 weekends off in 5 rather 1 weekend in 4.

So i came back to 2 nights and 1 quickswing shift before my long weekend.

Straight out of briefing me and my crewmate get given a handover from the previous shift. Offender in custody, needs interviewing and documenting if necessary. A bit of a weird interview as the social worker seemed to do most of the questioning for me, but the offender (a juvanile involved in a domestic) admitted everything and gave reasons why he did what he did. Bit of a shame for him really as he gets grief from his parents and seems to be wound up by them as well causing his outbursts.

He was bailed for RJU intervention and hopefully will get a final warning. Im not often soft on people but didnt think having him in front of the mags would do him any good. That was all the "action" for the first night.

The second night i was in early to do some paperwork and come 10pm i was out and about on my own. Was very slow night untill about 1am ish when a call comes in "Domestic incident, both parties in a car have driven off arguing and shouting, driver possibly DIC". I toddle off looking for them thinking by the time i get there they will be long gone as i had about 15 miles to cover to get to the location.

Lo and behold the vehicle and occupants are parked on the side of the road. I turn around they get out of the car and start walking away. I soon cut them off as another car was making to the location. I ask the male the usuall questions and he is pissed as anything. The next unit arrives and i tell them that he was in the driving seat and smells of booze. He gets breathalised and nicked as he went straight to fail. He protests he wasnt the driver and wasnt in the drivers seat. (makes no odds to me i know what i saw). The female says she was the driver but im not having any of that.

Load him into the car and the female says "YOU CANT FUCKING ARREST HIM" i warn her about her language saying ill arrest her if she swears at me again. The class reply "OK THEN FUCK OFF!" so i nick her. Another detection! He blows double the limit and gets charged.

On quick swing i kind of got stitched as someone was bailed back to me that was wanted. So i had a mad rush to get CPS advice to charge for the original offence and assault police that he commited when he was nicked 2 weeks ago.

Yay oh Yay CPS say charge. Great first time for everything. My guy turns up and gets charged for the original assault and assault police. 1 Detection from January and 1 New one for this month.

Hopefully in my first 3 days back on shift i get 3 detections for May and 1 going back to January. So according to the standards i dont have to get any more this month! But hopefully i will.

So on my long weekend now trying to buy a house before the long run of earlies and lates.

Im going to try and do a tally month by month of arrests and detections.
So here we go:
2 Arrests
2 Detections
1 Bailed for caution (2 detections in this hopefully that ill split with my crewmate)

Monday, May 09, 2005

Im Back!

Well i have already typed this once and am not going to retype it again! Thanks EBlogger for deleting the text!

In summary.

Not posted for ages due to me tidying up paperwork before i left on a 3 week residential course at the force traing center where i learnt some good new stuff but got retaught lots of information i didnt need. 9 - 5 hours, being bored in a classroom. In the evenings it was cold, did some paperwork and then down the bar after eating a average meal provided by the caterers.

Im back on shift now for 2 nights and a quick swing so hopefully will be back to have some fun and do the job im paid to do rather than sit in a classroom all day being bored.

And hopefully have some good things to post about.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Driving 2

Well, only a few days into being able to drive marked cars - No blues, No Twos, and no stopping cars.

Has been good fun if not an experience seeing how other drivers react to you. They either slow right down, or give way to you.

Had a run out on nights and have to admit couldent resist using the emergency equipment of some dark empty roads and to assist with some overtaking when it was safe to do so en-route to immediate jobs.

Had a manic set of nights, running immediate to immediate for up to 5 - 6 hrs straight. All shit jobs, all hyped up but no paperwork with copious use of form CUFF1 as my mate says on another blog.

But i am glad the run of nights are over, its been mad with groups of kids hanging around untill 6am in town, i mean what the hell are they doing?? Do they not have parents??

Absolute pain in the arse, gobby as well and tend to try and gang up on you and outnumber you. Dont really work though as i just get on with the job and keep their mates detained for longer. Hey im paid to be out at 6am and i have a car to drive about in.
They aint getting paid and seem to be out of breath playing hide and seek with me!

Ah the joys of warm evenings and school holidays - they should all be locked up when it gets dark and not alowed back out untill they are older!

Wednesday, March 23, 2005


I wander what the election will bring the police sevice (ahem force).
The conservatives seem to want to help us fight crime by giving us more help and less paperwork.
Labour seem to want to ignore everything.
Whom will you be voting for... im sure i know what every rank and file officer is voting for.

But as usual we shall see who promises what and who delivers what. Again the police whom serve the queen and public become political pawns for the government.


Well i have driven unmarked cars now for a few weeks covering areas while we have had 2 marked cars out and about. All good fun but we had been doing Immediate jobs with no emergency warning equipment and no backing if it goes wrong, which is a bad situation to be in as the driver.
I have a choice do i 1) do my best to get to the victim and get the offender or 2) obey all rules and let the bad guy get away or the victim unsupported while they wait 10 mins while i am sat at traffic lights.
Hmmm. well i generally go for option 1 if possible but making sure i dont place myself in danger nor the public and dont crash.
I am about to get a basic course soon to enable me to drive a panda and maybe stop cars but thats the limits of the course...... better than nothing and the public can see a marked car floating about rather that a plane dark corsa that goes unnoticed.
Well will see how i get on and let you know how many other rules i can break in doing my job effectively.

Investigation management

One of the reasons i havent updated this blog for a while, is the advent of Investigation management.
Some bright spark further up the line decided this was a good idea. The main reason being that onyone, anywhere in the force can look at exactly where i am in regards to a crime investigation.
Good i hear some people say. And in a way it can be usefull. Especially where supervisors can give you plans for how to investigate crime. Bad because the people that monitor this have no idea of what is going on.
For example, i may have 13 jobs in my docket. Some i cant deal with for a while due to the people i need to speak to being away / holiday or have moved and i dont know where they are. Now The people that manage this also set dates for things to be done, and in the ideal world this would not be a problem.
But i work in reactive policing, my day does not involve chasing people up and getting certain statements. It involves being sent to jobs, dealing with crime as it happens, interviewing suspects, and doing files etc. Thus i may not actually GET time to deal with some of the outstanding jobs. I dont work in CID and have my day taken up as an investigator.
Oh and i am still sposed to be providing a visible presence to the public, not sitting behind a desk doing paperwork.
Its a lose lose situation. I either try to investigate crime to keep our bods happy. Or i do my JOB of tackeling crime as it happens, bring offenders to justice and reassure the public, to keep the public happy.

If only someone would get their finger out of there arse and let us do the job, help us do the job rather than new initiatives to keep me in the office all day!

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Results of Sunday

Well i was kind of there today.

My person turned up to be nicked but 2nd person (his GF) wants to arrange another date if need be. He made partial admissions so will be CPS advice hence i didnt get the charging or files done as it was a sunday.
I DID get my Gen12 file done for the disqual driver.
I DID get my PND completed and submitted (it may come back to me for additonal work though!)
I DID get my PDP review done.
I DIDNT get a full file done that i was meant to do the other week.
And i DIDNT get my DD File done.

Not too bad really considering it was a short shift and i was still kinda reactive, luckily it was fairly Q today.

Back to nights for a couple of shifts now.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

New sidebar website

I found this website / blog ages ago and it was the one that inspired me to write my own, Well worth a visit.

Its interesting to see the similarities between forces whomever Copperfield Works for!

Been a while

It's been a while since i last posted anything on here, mainly because i have been on a operation for the past 3 weeks or so, so i have been working long hours and haven't really has alot of time to come onto the internet and post updates.

Well now i am back rejoining my shift and not looking forward to earlies on sunday but the last 3 weeks has been fun and given half a chance i would possibly do it perminantly rather than on an attachment. The Op shows what can be achieved by have resources avaliable to deploy at the drop of a hat, as on reactive shifts we are not allowed to redeploy unless there is a 00 shout (officer in personal danger) .

This resulted in maybe 3 double crewed cars being on scene within a matter of minutes on report of a Burglary in progress or robbery etc. This resulted in alot of people arrested for there offences whereas usually they may get away due to the lack of resources comming to contain an area. And it has an impact as these units when not responding are patroling and turning over people in high crime areas, basically putting out the message "WE ARE HERE AND IF YOU ARE UP TO NO GOOD THEN WE WILL FIND OUT" which has an effect on the numbers of people actually out on the streets. Meaning anyone who would be on there way to commit crime or comming back from crime seem to not want to bother either because (a) affraid to get caught with gear on them or (b) already in nick for commiting crimes.

As a result, Burglaries dropped, Robberies dropped and Theft of and from Motor vehicles dropped. All good just a shame this was concentrated on one area and not every area. But things are changing and hopefully for the better, we shall see in the next financial year if the promisies are kept on behalf of the force and the govenment, (bear in mind an election is due).

But.. Good news this week.

We work to detection rates, ie crime reported then investigated. If a person is cautioned, charged or summons issued then the crime is detected and looks good for the force.

We used to have to get 3 detections a month per officer which is not as easy as it sounds when if 2 officers are in a crew and one makes an arrest, both officers deal for the majority of the shift, but only one detection for one officer.

Now there are no detection rates per officer until April when we switch to team targets which will probably equate to 3 detections per month per officer, just a different way of putting it really. But this time round there can be more pressure on us as some do not hit the 3 per month, but others hit 6 - 8 a month so could breed resentment in the long term.

We shall see the outcome especially as shift sgts have started printing off sheets comparing all officers on a shift listing arrests and detections for a period! for personal development of course and definately not a league table!

Well in 3 weeks on this op i have had shed loads of fun being able to do what i joined to do.... Chasing the bad guys, harassing the bad guys, and arresting the bad guys.

I went on many immediate jobs (one in a traffic car which i have the video of which was enjoyed tremendously).
Made quite a few arrests.
Annoyed alot of dodgey people (well they should get a job and not be so dodgey the shouldent they).
Worked long hours.
And considering we dont deal with the paperwork, still managed to get 2 detections thanks to someone who didnt know when to shut up, and a disqulaified driver.

I managed to get a drunk and incapable driver who went to blood test who was over on blood so he will be getting charged and the file done for him!

So all i need to do Sunday is:
Gen12 file for driving whilst disqual.
Penatly notice for disorder paperwork for the guy who wouldent shut up.
DD file for my drunk driver.
A full file i should have done last week for an ABH which will probably only be a common assault.
Arrest 2 people who should hopefully turn up at the nick to see me.
Interview and hopefully charge then do the files.
And do a review for my PDP (i'll explain the PDP another time)

Wednesday, January 12, 2005


As any officer knows, paperwork is a big thing with the police service.
There are forms for everything, and i mean EVERYTHING.
Need a new clip on tie as yours is broken then its a STO7 form, in duplicate and passed to the business unit. You will wait 4 weeks and eventually it will arrive.
Going out in a car?? then there is the car book to be completed, with every defect / damage listed. Fuel amounts entered, mileage entered.
The bulk of the paperwork is court files and you would not believe the amount of duplication involved!
There are a few differnt kinds of file, we have fast track guilty, where the offender has fully admitted the offence on tape. Fast Track not guilty, where the offender denies the offence but there is overwhelming evidence to say they did comit the offence.
Then we have full files where the offender is pleading not guilty at court.

From memory, a fast track guilty will contain the following:
TQ2 Anticipated Guilty Fast Track File Front Sheet
MG1 File front sheet.
MG3 CPS Advice - if it was saught.
MG4 Charge Sheet.
MG5 Case Summary.
MG6 Information to prosecutor ie compensation details.
MG11 Key Witness statements.
MG18 TIC form if any.
CID 1& 2 Crime reports.

A fast track not guilty will have the following:
MG2 Initial witness assessment form.
MG10C Witness avaliability dates.
MG11 All statements.
CID 1 & 2

A full file will have the following.
MG4 Bail Sheets
MG4 Charge Sheets
MG6 B, C, D and E Disclosure information for CPS
MG9 Witness List
MG12 Exhibit lists.
MG15 Record of taped interview (A transcript of the taped interview)
MG18 if any TIC's
CID 1 & 2.

Alot of the information we input into the forms is duplicated, and quite time consuming as we deal with the paperwork inbetween responding to jobs comming in. Some files will take longer than others depending on the numbers of witnesses, the amount of exhibits such as cctv tapes. The disclosure paperwork (this has to be sorted into misc, confidential, and non confidential) takes a fair amount of time as it has to be right or the file goes nowhere.

All this inbetween being Proactive, Reducing crime, Arresting offenders, Providing a visible presence, and responding to calls.

Its surprising that there are any police out on the streets really.

But then we actually arn't alowed to be seen to be doing paperwork according to the shift Sgt. I sit down to do a file and get pounced on.
SGT "What are you doing"
Me "I'm doing a full file sarge"
SGT "Is that a proactive use of your time?"
Me "No, but it has to be done for the courts"
SGT "Can you justify your time doing paperwork"
Me "I'd prefer to be out, but this needs to be done"
SGT "Humpf" and walks off no doubt to write in his little book that i am in the station not being proactive.

One thing for sure, it's going to get interesting over the next few weeks with our 2 brand spanking new SGT's, both of which with no managment experiance. Both of which have not been working reactive shifts for at least 3 years each and seem to have the ideals reimplanted into their heads, of what a shift should run like, not what it does run like!

Monday, January 10, 2005


Well spent most of the night in custody following a very short pursuit and decamp (where the offenders run away)

Spotted a car that was parked up and had 3 blokes inside, so we decided to turn around to have a chat. The subject car (note the term subject not suspect!) decided to drive away with no lights on, nowt too dodgey really so my driver put on the blues so it could be stopped. The driver decided not to stop and try a dodgey overtake without sucess and was forced to pull back in directly infront of our car. Now he couldent really get past the 2 cars in front so turned a corner and stopped.

The driver got out of the car and walked towards the driver side of the panda, then ran away.

I gave chase shouting the obligatory, STOP WHERE YOU ARE. He carried on running and turned into a cul de sac. I shouted again saying STOP WHERE YOU ARE OR IM GOING TO BATON YOU! he tried to climb a fence where i took the oportunity to inform the man that he was nicked for theft of motor vehicle (wasn't shown as stolen on PNC but the keeper may not know its stolen yet). He decided to aggressivly move towards me prompting me to inform him not to be so silly and i racked my baton. He stupidly said "if you hit me ill hit you back" quite how he was going to get off the floor after being whacked by a big metal stick i dont know.

He then tried to find another route of escape.

I had enough of this so drew my CS gas and told him if he didnt come with me i would gas him. Which had the desired effect. I followed him back towards my crew mate who had chased the 2 passengers as they had made off too. He was cuffed and cautioned and gave the token "im going to fuckin nut you" reply. He was doubled up, lobbed into the rear of the panda with a bit of force and then escorted to the nick.

He then spent the evening swearing at me and arguing even though he was 3 times the drink drive limit.

He was still locked up when i left as he didnt want a duty solicitor and demanded to see his own, whose name he didnt know nor the phone number!

What a dickhead!

There was a second pursuit too that evening with another crew chasing, nicked motor.. Unfortuneately they got away and burnt the car out in a nearby field. Its not often we get persuits in our area seems like tonight we were targeting the right cars to stop, which will mean we will target anything that draws my attention for the foreseable future as you realise how many motors you drive past that may be nicked or a drunk, disqual or uninsured drivers we dont pull in.

But it baffles me why some people dont stop and try to get away as to be honest alot of peeps could talk their way out of trouble. As the reason we wanted to speak with this driver was because:
A) 3 males in an old car in a expensive area.
B) Driver advoids eye contact with us.
C) Parked up where cars are not usually parked up.

All we wanted to do was see what they were up to.

Guy's inteligence obvioulsy skipt an inbread generation as per his "Ill hit you back" comments and trying to escape when in handcuffs and 2 officers holding both arms.

If you have ever felt the weight of a baton you would know it will hurt and at the end of the day why fight when your opponent has a big metal stick and you have nothing.

Needless to say he was woken up by custody staff for regular checks in the cells. And stupidly told the SGT that he was going to spain the next day... I think the term "REFUSED BAIL" comes to mind... he was also wanted on locate trace in another area for an assault which means obtain current details!

I think he will be in custody for a while.
Then taken to the next avaliable court and banned,
Then fined for the public order offences and fail to stop.
Probably bailed for the Theft.

A cracking night and result for me.
A real shit night for the inbread chav scum that plagues the streets nicking motors, disqual driving, driving uninsured and a host of other offences.

I am now going to bed, in my own bed, in my own house after a can of beer and a bacon sarnie.
He is still in a cell. With all the lights on, Possible get an allday breakfast.

I love my job.
What i joined up for, to chase the bad guys and get em in the nick!

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Crew Oscar - Nights.

Well, 1st night shift crewed by myslef as a proactive unit in an unmarked car.

This turned out to be a bit of a pain as there were cars i would like to have stopped but were unnable to as i did not have any blue lights, so i had to resort to folowing them untill they stopped somewhere which was interesting.

Luckily managed to follow 1 vehicle into a petrol station forecourt as he had previously overtaken me down the high street and was driving like a nutter, No tax so has been reported for that, advice and producer given.

Had a chat with a few dodgey peeps that were stop checked and there was 1 guy that i would have liked to arrest but the lack of a working TETRA radio network meant i did not have any way of calling up for another unit to aid in the arrest and transport.

Assisted in several area searches ranging from groups of youths fighting to a cow in the road. And assisted a dog unit in making arrests following a fight where the door staff had been CS gassed.

Not a bad night but would have been improved with the following:

1) A working radio system so i could PNC cars and people and call for assistance.
2) A marked car to aid in stopping cars.
3) A crewmate bearing in mind that i was in a dodgey area where groups of people were congrigating and have no hesitation in giving a good kicking to officers who are either special police officers or single crewed.

So for the night i did the following in summary:

1) Covered 135 miles on patrol over 8 hrs driving and 1 hr rest stop.
2) Assisted in arrest of 2 males following a fight with CS gas. ( Good result)
3) Issued a producer (HORT/1) to an errant driver. (Silly boy shouldent have overtaken me at speed in a high street)
4) Reported a driver for driving with no road tax. (As a result of 3)
5) Area search for group of youths who reportedly were abusive to a homeowner. (No Trace)
6) Area search for a suspect vehicle carrying a male who had assulted someone. (No Trace)
7) Area search for a possible DIC (Drunk in charge) Driver after a Crash. (1 arrested)
8) Area search for a cow. (Moo Moo kind) (No Trace)
9) Assisted in a report of a fight. 1 person stop checked. (She didnt apreciate it too much as it was cold and windy!)
10) Stop checked 2 males, following them possibly tampering with a phone box who shuffled off when they saw the yellow jacket. (Was a knobend who needed arresting, no doubt we will meet again! you can be sure of that!)
11) Helped a drunken person into a taxi. (Almost appreciated but the boyfriend was a bit gobby)
12) Ate a cinamon whirl and a twix with a cup of tea. (Nice but tesco did not have anything else)
13) Be totally unappreciated by the general public. (Pretty much the norm)
14) Advoided alot of fallen down trees. (Because i didnt want to crash and try and expain it away!)

We shall see what the next night brings as im off to bed, luckily im comming in early to deal with outstanding paperwork and get it all up to date, then go back reactive for the funny hours, Hopefully with a working Radio!

Friday, January 07, 2005

Another 0630 Job + Nutters

Not as bad as the other night, but there were more weirdos calling up for our help.

1 male was being chased by 2 males in balaclavas when we arrived there was no sign of any suspects and the aggrieved was pissed up and had taken drugs, he was in a bit of a state to be honest but there were no actual crimes being commited. The aggd had previously reported to us the night before that he had been beated up and punched in the throat by a known suspect and ran to the police station whislt being chased by the suspect.

When he was spoken to it transpired he had no injuries, and arrived at the police station by car!?!?!

We also had a burglary in progress which we attended and saw a male that INITIALLY matched the description, height, clothing and build. This male had a wallet that he said was not his, great we thought we got ourselves a burglar.

Later transpired that he was the wrong colour as we had an asian male and the suspect was white. Our male also had mental problems so he panicked when he saw us and panicked when we asked questions which lead to his arrest.

So we were about to release him when another call comes in saying a male with a knife had been causing problems at a train station. This male exactly matched the description of the male we had. He was searched and no knife found, after some messing about we really had no grounds to hold him and due to his condition we decided to give him a lift home. But the male then tells us he lives some 50 miles away in another force area! Great, an hour and a half later we returned to the force area.

At 0620 ish we were back at the nick and thinking nah lets not empty the car just in case, and sure as night is black a call comes in.... "A vehicle has left the road and is in a ditch" great off we trott only to be redeployed to an immediate alot further away. "A tree has totally blocked a road" so we redeploy, get to the scene and there is no tree.

What a night! And now its a friday night when its been quiet the past few weeks so something is bound to go off!.

A 0630am job

Why when i am on nights do people decide to get hurt, have fights etc half hour before im due off duty??

We had a slow night with not a great deal happening, lots of procative patroling as its called by the powers that be. So slow in fact my crewmate felt too tired to drive (i am a non driver) so we decided to go back to the nick so my crewmate could have a hot drink and wake up a bit incase of any immediates that came in.
The early turn had just started to arrive for work so we began unloading the cars and writing off any jobs we had delt with when the dreaded call comes in

"Any unit avaliable for an immediate, male being chased by people carrying samari swords, he has escaped from a location where his 2 friends are currently being held and robbed at knife point, a gun has been seen"

So off the shift goes, all units call up and make on immediate.

Few mins later an ARV is dispatched along with a dog unit and the helicopter is called (well tried to but they didnt answer the phone!) And we all pile in to an address to see 2 males with injuries consistant with a good pasting and knife cuts.

The homeowner tell us that these males had tried to rob his house holding the occupants and knife point but they were over powered. the 2 males were arrested but were really glad to see us! Aparently a 3rd male had escaped from the address.

The 3rd male was the one that called the police! and he was subsiquently arrested by armed police!

And to top it all off, the third male had driven to the scene with the other 2 for a party in a nicked motor.

Try working that one out!

Seems a bit of vigalanti style justice was being administered as the 2 suspects were being robbed in return for them trying to rob the home owners!

Who knows, i got off late and couldent sleep with thanks to the people living above me playing loud music during the day. Which was swiftly resolved by switching the power off to their flat!

Mad Day

Work was interesting, my list of things achieved this shift:

1) Woman claims husband beat her up, called police to remove him... real story .... he locked himself in bedroom after a barney and she wanted to use that bed to sleep thus called the police so she could sleep in the bed, not the sofa. (this happened sunday am) . Not exactly in line with DVU policy who pretty much state arrest him as she is obviuosly the victim and we must take positive action. Luckily for him common sense prevailed on this occasion.

2) Suspected burglary, defered for 3 days due to "victim" not being avaliable... Victim was still not avaliable today.

3) Took a victim statement for one of my old jobs just so i could get rid of the job as its a non starter. No CCTV, No witnesses, still been crimed and will be filed as undetected. Gone are the days when it was down to the officer to make a judgement call now we have to jump through hoops to get a job filed even when there is no chance of getting on offender caught!

4) Went to find a Misper from the mental "care" unit at the hospital, she had already done a runner once today and been returned, then she leaves 45 mins after her first return. Go to her house, find said woman who wont let us in, i run round back to no avalil. crewmate gets in, i run back round front and get let in. Nutter woman wont return to hospital, spend time on fone to supervisor etc to see if we have a power to use force. wait for reply..... in mean time said woman goes into a bedroom. i go into bedroom to see if said woman is still alive. Find woman with a large kitchen knife to her throat. crewmate thinks o shit she had the knife concealed on her all the time he was alone with her. I think o shit either a) fight ensues as she slits her throat, b) she goes mental and tries to do one of us or after a bit of talking by me she drops said knife, knife is removed from her range. Eventually take her back to hospital where staff says they cant use force to detain, i suggest locking the doors to prevent nutters escaping, they say they have not enuff staff, said nutter walks off, out through the secure doors and offski down the corridor closely followed by a bemused me. she is detained again. she gets sedated. Job done and a good result till she runs tomorow. This happens quite frequently from this "Care Unit" with a pretty much open door policy!

5) Deal with gobby shit who needs a slap, and thinks he knows the law (i am on my own) his mates come around giving it the gob. Said mates get lobbed into a wall by me because they got too close. male i was speaking to tried to run, male gets lobbed into said wall. Crewmate returns all get warned re their conduct, we then keep trying to wind up males so we can nick em. The joys of Section 5!

6) Close off a road due to water main bursting and idiots keep saying can we go through please... no fuck off road closed and loadsa water cant you see, as well as trying to drive around me, then around a roadblock and a police car. before getting an unimpressed me waving my arms around like a loony. By now i was at the end of the shift, cold, wet and hungry and just needed to get off duty!

Not bad for an early shift!


I have just started this blog so bear with me while i get some items posted. Ill do my best and any comments appreciated.